But which came first, the chicken or the egg?
It seems that infertility results in stress and stress results in infertility, thus creating a vicious cycle for women or couples trying to become pregnant, which often ultimately results in other forms of psychological distress such as anxiety or depression. There are several ways in which infertility impacts functioning. When pregnancy is difficult or impossible to achieve, individuals find themselves having all kinds of negative thoughts such as:
- “This is the worst thing that could ever happen to me!”
- “I’ll never have a baby!”
- “I’ll never be happy!”
- “It’s all my fault, I should never have drank so much in college!”
- “I have nothing going for me!”
- “My marriage is going to fall apart if I can’t have a baby!”
In CBT, we refer to these thoughts as “cognitive distortions,” or thoughts that don’t necessarily hold much truth, but have a major impact on your mood and daily functioning. The power of these cognitive distortions are so strong that they can take on a life of their own.
They can also impact many areas of your life, including your work (you may start missing too many days), marriage (you may withdraw from or blame your husband or wife), other relationships (you may isolate yourself from friends and family), health (you may begin to engage in unhealthy behaviors such as excessive smoking, drinking, eating) and day to day life (you may spend an inordinate amount of time on the internet looking for answers or putting yourself on an emotional rollercoaster testing and retesting to see if you are pregnant). Any or all of these behaviors may contribute to or result in increased stress, or psychological distress such as anxiety or depression.
What is the treatment for Infertility Stress?
CBT for infertility stress focuses directly on the cognitive distortions related to the current infertility. More specifically, cognitive behavioral therapists help individuals learn to identify their thoughts or cognitive distortions, examine ways they impact their behaviors and emotions, then change them in order to change emotions and/or behaviors. Practicing this over and over again in therapy sessions and in homework assignments eventually leads to a change in behaviors, thoughts, emotions, stress level, and sometimes your ability to conceive!